I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.
So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.
i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled
so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god
I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.
Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.
I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.
Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?
So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”
and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.
guys oh my god
but consider this: vampires who turn into fruit bats